Tomorrow I will be returning to work after being on maternity leave and thought I should spend some time reflecting. The past eight weeks with our son have been an amazing adventure on many levels and trying to put it into words is impossible. It’s incredible what a newborn can teach you about yourself.
What I learned (or reminded of again)…
Children grow in the blink of an eye, so cherishing the time is important!
I realized the most important role in my life right now is to be the best mother to the kids, and girlfriend to Craig. We are a solid unit and need to focus our energy on being the best for them. Cole is almost 16 and thinking about him moving out and on blows my mind…(and insert tears here). It seems like it wasn’t that long ago that he was a baby and I realize I have been wrapped up in other issues and concerns at times and may have not cherished the moments as much as I could have. The same for Autumn and McKinley.
It’s ok to cry.
I’ve had quite the emotional awakening since Lincoln has been born. My heart has been softened and sometimes I cry just looking at him…and it’s ok!
Don’t worry about the small things because children don’t care about them.
Children don’t care if you have spit up on your shirt, don’t have make-up on, and your hair is a mess. They will remember how you made them feel…so hold them a little longer, kiss them more, play that board game, watch the show they pick, listen when they are telling you their stories…
Don’t worry about what you can’t control.
This can mean not becoming wrapped up in the family or friends who don’t act how you think they should. People will disappoint you all through life and instead of wasting the time on what a terrible person they are just focus on bettering yourself.
One of the most powerful emotions is evoked when a baby smiles at you…or stares into your soul while holding him.
Just how much happiness a baby can bring to a family!
We were already happy, but he has added so much more joy to our lives. Autumn was able to see his birth and was immediately bonded to him (even when he’s spitting up on her). Cole enjoys playing music for him when he’s fussy and needs calming. McKinley is never hesitant to pick him up and try to soothe him, and she loves giving him a bath, picking out his clothes, and dressing him (as long as I will put his diaper on). I’m one blessed momma!
Breastfeeding is not as easy as many assume or how the media portrays, but it is extremely rewarding.
With breastfeeding comes moments of painful latching, cluster feeding, engorgement, doubts if your baby is receiving enough, painful clogged milk ducts, the discomfort of the let down, the need for larger shirts, and handling people who have a negative reaction when your child needs to eat. The look your child gives you while breastfeeding or when he falls asleep at the breast is rewarding…knowing that you overcame all the difficult obstacles to give him the best. It is a beautiful gift from God not only to create a baby, but to nourish one too—-a woman’s body is beyond amazing!
Giving Lincoln formula is ok. I have been so focused on exclusively breastfeeding because that is what I have done in the past, but I had to come to realize that feeding him some formula is ok.
Not all babies are the same.
Lincoln is different than Autumn, Cole, and McKinley…and I shouldn’t have expected him to be the same as I’m not even the same. He loves sleeping in his crib, loves laying on his changing table, pees and/or poops after you take his diaper off (be warned), his favorite place to be is eating in mommy and daddy’s bed, and loves taking baths!
How blessed I am!
I have an amazing man who has supported and encouraged not only me, but my children as well. Watching him become a father has been a wonderful experience.
Tomorrow will be a bitter-sweet day for sure, but one thing is for sure…the past eight weeks have been pure happiness!
My due date was January 14th and I was ready long before he was due to give birth. The end of my pregnancy brought terrible prodromal labor, a sore, swollen body, heartburn that ended in throwing up, groin pain, shortness of breath, rolling over in bed was almost impossible, and every time he moved it hurt—I was ready to give birth and tried everything to spark labor naturally. I drank the red raspberry tea, walked, squatted, washed all my hardwood floors and baseboards on my hands and knees, stair walked, vacuumed the entire house…several times, had sex, walked some more, took baths, and nothing seemed to work. I even packed my classroom up because we are moving to another school in a week thinking that might push me into labor, but that didn’t work either.
The night of my due date I cracked and just cried because I was so uncomfortable and told Craig that I was trying to deal as best as I could, but I wasn’t sure how much longer I could do it. The prodromal labor is what was really driving me over the edge because I was having contractions for three weeks! He was supportive as possible with trying to make me comfortable, but I was at my breaking point.
About an hour later I sat on the couch and began to feel strong pains. I dismissed it thinking it was the way I was sitting. The pains became stronger, but I dismissed it as prodromal labor. What made me realize I was in actual labor was when I went to the bathroom and I was bleeding…I knew my son would come soon!
I was not rushing to the hospital after being sent home twice already, so we decided to wait a little before calling the doctor. Craig dried some laundry he was in the middle of doing and I made sure all the last minute items were added to my hospital bag. We laid down in bed and decided to watch some TV, but the contractions were stronger—stronger than I had felt in my previous pregnancies. I decided to call the doctor and I was told to go to the hospital.
I was 5cm when we arrived at 1am…I swear I would be farther along, but nope. We were admitted and the contractions were more painful. My doctor was not on call, but I did know the doctor who was. I wanted to try the water bath to manage the pain, but he wouldn’t allow it because he was afraid I would then be giving birth in the water. With few natural options to manage my pain I discussed an epidural with him—he said that it would not mean that I would end up delivering in a c-section and that the baby was not at risk. He said I needed to decide asap because if I waited it would be too late. I decided to have the epidural and be more comfortable.
While waiting for the epidural I decided it was time to give Craig his surprise I packed in my hospital bag—a dad shirt!
Being administered the epidural is a painful process itself, but I’m glad I decided to have it! I did slow down my dilating, so needed Pitocin to speed things up again. At one point I felt out of it and light headed because my blood pressure went down, but laying down helped that and all was good after that. I dilated pretty quickly after that and we decided to break my water to further the progress.
We sent a few texts to let certain family and friends know that our little one would be here soon! At this point my father and his girlfriend were in the waiting room, my oldest daughter, Autumn was in the room, and Craig’s cousin, Kayla was in the room.
Then we received some great news! A shift change was about to happen which the doctor on call would be leaving, and because the doctor coming in had an operation scheduled my doctor would be coming in. This is the same doctor who delivered Autumn and Cole, so it was nice!
The doctor walked in, I was fully dilated and ready to push. He changed his clothes and I knew it wasn’t going to be long now. He put some soapy water down below and I made the comment that cold water would feel good right about now. He thought I meant a cup of water to drink, but I explained how some cold water poured down below would feel amazing…he said whatever I want and poured some cold water down there, but it didn’t feel as cold as I hoped. I knew the ring of fire was coming…
I pushed for a little while and then I knew one more push and he would be here…the ring of fire was next and I knew if I could get through that then the majority of the pain would be over. Listening to everyone encouraging me while Craig held my right leg and my doctor with my left I gave another push and he was here. I only cursed once through it all…haha! Craig cut the cord and he was put on my chest. He immediately began to breastfeed—amazing that he knew what to do so quickly! We all knew he was a large baby by looking at him—-I felt my entire pregnancy that he was going to be a big baby.
While he was on my chest and we were all checking him out the doctor pushed on my stomach to deliver the placenta and stitched me up. I sure did grab his hand when he pushed on my stomach…a reflex I just can’t help!
I had about an hour of skin to skin contact with him until they took him to take his weight and do all of the tests they do.
Everything was perfect!
January 15th @8:45am
9lb. 13 1/4oz. 21″long
Lincoln’s 1st Week
Day 1: He cluster fed all night, so we did not sleep at all…was a rough night! The hospital shower is not hot enough and has minimal pressure. I just want a nice, long, hot, shower!
Day 2: I wanted to be home asap and my doctor approved, but we needed to stay the minimum of 36 hours—when that 36 hour mark hit we were out of there and home we were! I wanted my own bed and my own shower! If the pediatrician saw how we slept we would have been given a scolding…much better night of sleep than the night before. I have a new found appreciation for the comfort of my own bed!
Day 3: His first doctor’s visit—all is healthy! Doc said his eyes are blue with a slight chance to change to hazel (looks like my blue eye gene is pretty dominant…haha). More cluster feeding…in particular at night. His siblings are loving him up!
Day 4: First trip out of the house (other than for the doctor’s appointment). I made sure to feed him right before we left to be prepared! We were in the store for about 10 minutes when I heard him begin to fill his diaper…then he began to fuss which turned into us leaving to the car to change him and feed again. We eventually went back in, but did rush through looking around because he was restless and we didn’t want to be those parents with a screaming child in the store. As soon as we were walking out the door he passed right out though…haha! We didn’t even need anything, but just wanted some fresh air and to walk around a bit.
Day 5: I have been having some pains in my hip which were at their worst, but I’m going to see how it goes over the next week or so until I call the doctor. Other than that I feel great and have been up and active–maybe I need to slow down a little and give my body time to relax! Breastfeeding is coming along…he has an insatiable appetite, but he is a big baby.
Today was his big brother’s debut in the musical School of Rock, so Aunt Shannon watched him for a couple hours while we attended (I sure did cry when we dropped him off). The play was amazing (I also cried watching Cole perform)! By the end I was feeling the skipped feeding and was quite sore—my sister fed him baby formula because I didn’t have time to pump any milk for her to feed him (insert guilty feeling here). All was good though and as soon as we were home I latched him on to relieve the pain.
Day 6: Easiest day so far even if he had his most wardrobe changes today than any other day—he loves peeing and/or pooping all over when his diaper is changed. He does it EVERY diaper change!
Day 7: Loves to snuggle, eat, and surprise you when you change his diaper. We are ready with a wash cloth to cover him, so he doesn’t pee all over the blinds again.
We are incredibly happy and in love with him…ready for this next adventure…