I’m at a point in my life where I realize possibilities are endless, but not quite sure which direction is for me. I just fantasize for now. I’m ready for something exciting, something new, a challenge that will push me to grow in ways I’ve never imagined.
I love teaching in the school I’m in, but need something more…I don’t feel as if I’m making enough of an impact. Tomorrow starts a new semester and I have some ideas up my sleeve that I’m excited to try. I’m looking to take my career to the next level, but haven’t found a position that is right for me yet. I feel something great coming soon though.
Do I make a drastic change and move…as in out of state, or even out of the country? I’m currently researching options, but until my divorce is final I’m stuck–I loathe feeling stuck…feeling as if someone else has control over my choices–especially such a sick, sick, evil, being! Ok, I don’t want this to become a negative post—it will be honest though and lately I’ve been struggling with staying positive–in part because of the divorce hold up.
Do I make a drastic change and leave education all together? No! I love interacting with students too much for that! Maybe step up my photography skills and open a studio? I don’t know…for now I will continue to learn new techniques, practice, play, and have fun until I decide what comes next.
Do I want to marry again? Have more children? Mine are 19, 14, and 12…life has changed as they are older and independent…I have more freedom…they don’t need me as much. It is sort of depressing at times to think about. My babies are no longer babies. Why does God put so much on one person’s shoulders? I guess I shouldn’t complain because my children are healthy–some people are dealing with much more than I am.
Now that my children are a bit older I have plenty of time to work out at the gym. I’ve been consistent in going and have a routine, but I do need to push myself more there too. I work out in my comfort zone, using the machines I know, but I need to venture out in that area where the weights are. I’m a confident woman, but for some reason I’m scared to step out of my bubble and into the weight area of the gym. What if I don’t know how to use a machine? I’m not a fan of asking for help…especially from men! What if I ask for help, but nobody can hear me (darn earbuds)? What if I look like a rookie? Wait…I am a rookie! Everyone is looking at me! No…nobody is looking at you! These pants are a bit tight and my butt is toning up…maybe they are looking! Stop Crystal..They are watching the TV shows up above! Uggg…maybe tomorrow I will dip my toes into the weight area…or maybe I’ll jump in canon ball style like this guy did!
Comment: Do you work out at the gym? Have you had these thoughts? Any advice for me to overcome my fear?