Trusting HIS Timing

My vision for this post was to announce that my divorce is final, but unfortunately that is not the case.  I was sent a letter from Edward Gangarosa who is assigned by the court to review the documents before being sent on to the judge.  He wrote in the letter that I needed to file two more papers and then resubmit them.  That sounds easy—although I was annoyed I figured it doesn’t take that much time and went to pick them up to file them.

When I picked them up there was a blank form, paper-clipped to the form I already completed.  I was confused and asked the employees in the Supreme Court office if they knew what he meant by doing this (as this is not mentioned in this letter), and they were also confused.  I decided to call Gangarosa for clarification to avoid any additional hold up.  Well he said I needed to redo the form because the one I submitted was an old form that has been revised—ok, so why didn’t he say anything months ago?  This paper has been completed since September and he is just now requiring this?  He also seemed incredibly bothered that I am not seeking maintenance in the divorce.  I told him that I’m sure he is used to women wanting every last dime from their ex, but I have everything already—everything I’ve worked for and care about.  I’m no ordinary woman!  I have zero desire for my ex’s retirement and want to just move on with my life.  I was crying out of frustration and told him that I will resubmit this form (which also requires me to send it to the prison to be signed by my ex and notarized), but after this if he continues to pull this I will be writing a formal complaint.  I really don’t like to pull that card, but I have had enough!

I’ve spoke to several people already who have shared similar stories and I will not allow him to abuse his position and prevent me from obtaining this divorce.  I was also informed that I should write a letter to the attorney general, which I am considering.  There is even a complaint online about him that is similar to my experience.

I wouldn’t mind if this was one time, but every time I submit the paperwork he writes me a letter of corrections that need to be made and when everything is fixed he finds something else.  He has even stated that I did not include documents that were clearly there.  Not to mention he is a lawyer, but has many grammatical and spelling errors in his letters.

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The paperwork is sitting here on my table ready to be sent to the prison…God willing this will be the last paper I’m asked to re-submit.

I have been living my life mindful not to be negative and part of me struggles to understand why God is prolonging this—I do know I am where He wants me, and He is working things out even if I can’t see it.

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Crystal

 

Favorite Face Moisturizers

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One of the most important products you can use on your face is moisturizer!  This is a must for me no matter what.  I always apply after my shower in the morning and after I wash my face before bed!  You have to find one that works for your skin and don’t be afraid to change it up once in a while.  If you’re looking for a new addition to your routine I encourage you to try one of my favs!

My top favorites:

  1. CeraVe: Love, love, love this moisturizing cream and CeraVe products!  I use this before bed and in the morning.  This is my top favorite at the moment and the one I use the most.  You will notice a change in your skin within a week using this cream.
  2. Olay:  I’m a huge fan of Olay products and have been using them for years.  This moisturizer I use at night when I need to change up my routine.  You will notice a change in your skin after using it for a week or two!
  3. Alba Botanica Even Advanced:  This light moisturizer is amazing and is great under make-up.  You can see and feel a difference immediately—especially if you have blotchy skin or under eye circles.  It does have a cologne scent that some may not like, but I do.
  4. No.7:  Another wonderful moisturizer that works well before applying make-up.  It does have a scent that I’m not a huge fan of, but I like how it make my skin look and feel.
  5. Skin Laundry:  This stuff is amazing!  I use it before bed when I know I want an extra boost of flawless skin in the morning.
  6. Vitamin E Oil:  I use this about once a week before bed only.  It does make my skin look/feel a little greasy, but it soaks in my skin overnight.  Vitamin E is an antioxidant and beneficial to protect and repair our skin–I like to think that while I sleep the vitamin e is busy at work repairing all those skin cells!

Share in a comment:  What is your favorite moisturizer or your favorite face product?

Crystal

 

Along The Road Taken…

Whoa!  Sixteen days since my last post…I am slacking!  I was doing well with my posts and then my computer just. stopped. working.  I thought it just needed a new battery, but nope it was dead.  RIP Asus!  Unfortunately I did not have an external hard drive to back up all of my work and pictures…lesson learned!  The positive is that I can still retrieve my data off of the laptop, but the past couple weeks have been difficult without my files, photos or the use of my laptop.

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Then…a surprise came my way.

My thoughtful boyfriend knows how much I use my laptop and ran around on his day off to find the perfect one for me…this was definitely a surprise!  He has not been able to surprise me at all, but this time he did!  Never imagined he would buy me a laptop!  To top it off he gave me a pair of wireless earbuds because I made a comment how they would be nice to use while working out.  I’m one lucky lady!!

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Divorce:  On another note…I received the paperwork back stating my ex was served, BUT they left out the one important detail…they never wrote on it that the “amended complaint” was served.  Incredibly frustrating because I called the prison ahead of time to make sure they wrote it on there and put a note in with the document when I sent it.  Not to mention this is the third time I sent the paperwork to be served!  Holy frustrating!  I called this morning to see if they can simply resend the document and write “amended complaint” on it, and they are going to call me back.  They have one more hour, and then I’m going to call them back. *insert hour time laps here*  I called and they said they were still looking for the file and will call me back.  *insert another time laps here*  They called me back and asked that I resend the paper…they do not have internet access to print another form out.  I’m remaining calm and friendly on the phone through all of this because I know it isn’t their fault, but they don’t know how all of these little mistakes have added up to prolong this divorce! *insert yet another time laps here*  Paperwork was filed and submitted to the court on Friday.  Now I’m hoping Gangarosa doesn’t find another list of things he wants done before moving forward…this should not be that difficult!  Now I’ll be stalking the mailbox as I wait!

I do believe this is the last time I will have to submit them…as I left the court building…a building I have spent way too much time in, I looked out and took in the view and began to tear up.  Along the road I’ve taken I noticed something for the first time…a bridge…why it brought me such peace I’m not sure.  It isn’t a newly built bridge, but I’ve never really noticed that you could see it from the court building until that day.  Earlier in the week I had been on a walk where I took photos of it.

Did I mention it’s the Frederick Douglass-Susan B. Anthony Memorial Bridge–ahhh…the symbolism!

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Since it has been sixteen days since my last post I’ll leave you with sixteen pictures…

 

*hugs*

Crystal

 

 

 

 

Three Months & Two Days

I wanted to provide an update for people because I’m incredibly excited that I have made it to three months and two days as a non-smoker!  I joined the non-smoking club November 13th, 2016 after listening to a self-hypnosis video!

I’m not crazy…it really worked!!  I wasn’t intentionally searching for a quit smoking video…I happened to stumble upon it and after reading the many comments from others stating how it worked for them, I thought why not give it a try.  I listened to it before bed for a couple nights and have not smoked a cigarette since!  The sound of Michael Sealey’s voice is calming which made me fall asleep rather quickly, so I didn’t even put much effort into listening.  I was moody an evil demon for a couple weeks, but other than that I didn’t have any other side effects.

My past attempts were always a battle, but this time was different…much different.  I’m still floored at how easy it was and wanted to share it with other people who may be struggling with this addiction.

Since I’ve quit I’ve noticed:

  • my skin is clearer and smoother
  • I feel healthier
  • I sleep better
  • my hair, skin, and clothes smell amazing
  • I quickly realized I smoked when I was bored…I now use that time to be productive
  • I save a ton of money!

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Are you or do you know someone who is struggling with a smoking addiction?  Share this post with them and give the video a try! 

Crystal

Video: Stop Smoking Self Hypnosis

Read My Previous Post: I Joined the Non-Smoking Club

 

 

 

PMS: The Struggle is Real!

I was reminded this weekend how it is impossible to be positive all of the time…how there are days that hormones just take over and cause total destruction.  I tried, tried pretty darn hard I’d say to keep positive, but I finally surrendered when I just couldn’t take it anymore.

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Friday night wasn’t so bad…I watched some football movie on Netflix…Mark Wahlburg was in it and played some Eagles player…Invincible was the name of it.  I was balling my eyes out…I immediately knew hormones were playing a factor because I don’t cry easily…well, except when you catch me this time of the month!  I told myself ok, now the next couple of days are going to be great!  This will be the month the moodiness will not visit!  I feel fabulous, eating healthy, gym action going on…all will be good!

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Then Bam…the switch was flipped!  Dear boyfriend just doesn’t understand.  My due date is even programed in his phone to make him aware of the days to leave me be, but for some strange reason he just doesn’t believe that it’s a real thing…the struggle is real!

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What escalated the situation is my trip to McDonalds.  I very rarely eat fast food, but I was feeling disgusting, skipped the gym, and decided I wanted hotcakes!  Why do they call them that—they are pancakes!  I can’t even tell you the last time I ate McDonalds, but all I know is I wanted pancakes with hash browns….ohhh and I tossed on an order of nuggets too to add to the misery!  I asked for syrup to dip the nuggets in, but she told me I couldn’t substitute that, so I ordered an extra–no big deal–I wanted an extra syrup…period!  haha..pun not intended!  Well, of course I get home, set everything up to chow down and find out there is no extra syrup!  Holy flames and f-bombs Batman!  Out of all the days to screw up my order this was the worst!

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The remainder of my night was spent doing my laundry (folding laundry is quite calming), watching Netflix, eating a Skor candy bar, uploading pictures to Facebook, and slowly coming down off that evil estrogen spike as I write this blog post…see, writing can be therapeutic!

Pray for my students tomorrow…better yet, pray for a snow day!

Crystal

The Power of Music: Positive Vibes Soundtrack

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A fun project my students and I worked on was to create a soundtrack of songs that immediately put you in a positive mood.  Students have a host of struggles which spill over in their academics, and since they enjoy listening to music I challenged them to create a list they can turn to or should I say, turn up (ha…see the puns there) if they feel a bad mood creeping in.

Ohhh…one more rule was that the artist had to be African American (or write lyrics touching on African American issues) because I currently teach African American Literature and this was a way I could incorporate additional learning.

I have found starting class off with a positive song improves the environment of the classroom…this is not always an easy task as I teach in an inner city school. (Students are ages 16-21).

Have you heard?  What we put in our bodies affects us—we have the power to decide if that is for the positive or the negative.  We discussed that when we are in a bad mood we tend to gravitate to and listen to music that makes us even more angry and upset.  Being mindful about what you are listening to can change that.

Our Positive Vibes Soundtrack

Pharrell Williams “Happy”

Pharrell Williams “Freedom”

Kirk Franklin “Smile”

Tupac “Dear Mama”

Tupac “Keep Ya Head Up”

Tupac “Changes”

Alicia Keys “Superwoman”

Alicia Keys “Girl on Fire”

Tasha Page-Lockhart “Fragile”

Bob Marley “Buffalo Soldier”

The Temptations “I got Sunshine”

Otis Redding “Dock of the Bay”

Meek Mill “Traumatized”

Jussie Smollett Conqueror

Monica “Angel of Mine”

Comment:  What song immediately puts you in a good mood?  What song would you add to our list?

Crystal

 

What if you fly?

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Photo: Tinker Nature Park in Henrietta, New York

 

We all tremble inside at the thought of something…what is it that you fear?  Is it beginning something new?  Starting over?  A career choice?  Going back to school?  Traveling?  Trying a new workout at the gym (who is possibly afraid of this right…yup…yours truly)?  Public speaking?  Initiating a conversation? Starting a blog? Change?

Whatever it is…step outside of your comfort zone and fly!  It will build a stronger you, a sharper you, and a more confident you!  You will grow in more ways than you can imagine.  Picture your life after overcoming the fear?  What will your life look like then?

What is it that makes you tremble?

Crystal